Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Gone Crazy

Yesterday the phone rang. Now don't get too excited... it was a prank. Not an intentional prank, but a prank none the less. The number had a Toronto area code, our agency is in Toronto. Although I am expecting the call from our agency in Calgary, for some reason I thought maybe, somehow, this could be it. I grabbed my cell phone, looked at the number and had a mild panic attack. As adrenaline shot through my veins, I picked up the call.

Nope not Steve at Mission of Tears,

Nope not a referral call.

It was westjet, telling me I won something.

I immediately hung up the phone while screaming, "AHHHHHH, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!!!!!"
I was mostly directing my anger to the the voice machine on the other line, because somehow they should know better! But honestly how does one get telemarket calls on their cellphone?? Worst.

So, yes, it is true I have lost my mind. It seems that everyday the wait gets harder and harder. Somehow I feel so close, but then I have to keep telling myself I am only dreaming. This has to be some form of torture.

I have hope, but it seems that it is the hope that kills you. I just can't help it. I can't help waking up every morning with the thought, "Will today be the day?" or going to bed every night wondering how to stop wondering if tomorrow will be the day. I keep crying to God asking him for some type of answer but, it always comes back...just wait. I do believe the timing will be perfect, but I am just struggling these days.

Not today. Maybe tomorrow?



  1. Oh that is just pure torture. A person can't help but have hope, it seems that is all we have in this process.. Oh I hope you receive the right call soon!!

  2. I HEAR YA!!!!!! Same thing happened to me today! I thought I was the only one losing my mind! Glad to see I am in good company!!!
    My cell rang at work today and it was a number I didn't recognize. The only people who call my cell during the day are my parents and hubby, and they have distinctive ringtones. I had changed my ringtone for my local agency to be a weird, loud ring, but I wasn't quite sure which one it was, since I did it a long time ago. So this weird ring happens and I don't know the number and I start hyperventilating. Turns out it was just a guy calling me back for a fundraiser I am working on...forgot I gave him my cell. Then I was all depressed for the rest of the day. Ugh!!!!

  3. I can relate to this! I think Tim worried I might actually snap during our wait for referral. I felt like I might. It took a lot of continous prayer to get through those days.

  4. Ok - so that would have driven me nuts!!! lol

    thought I would just stop in and say hello, and see how your journey was coming along :-) Referral soon!!! xxx(crossed fingers!)

    My best;

  5. Oh I know that feeling! It is so awful to have that adrenaline rush with the feelings of crushing disappointment. Hoping and praying this stage of waiting is over soon.

    BTW, here is a link to have your name taken off the telemarketers phone lists. It takes a month for it to take effect. I can't stand telemarketers taking up my cell phone minutes with their annoying calls!

  6. Thank you Denise!!! I put all our numbers on the list, no more of these "prank" calls!!

  7. Oh, how frustrating! Praying you get the call SOON!!!