Wednesday, April 25, 2012

A good day

Today was one of those days I was thinking about our kid all day long. I was home all morning cleaning, and chilling. I made homemade pizzas before lunch and all I could think about was how I wanted so badly to have some kids to feed the pizza to. I texted Arnie and said I was thinking of our kids, how I would be homeschooling them, then we'd eat pizza for lunch. I was about to text him the second part of the message "then I'd take them to see the Chimpanzee movie, since it's raining and we would do a study on Chimps so it would be educational!" He called me before I could send it and actually asked if I would like to see the Chimp movie! He read my mind :) So before we went we stopped by the lab at the hospital to get our HIV test done.
Yes I was nervous!
I can't believe that I have given hundreds of needles and I still hate them!!!! Just because I'm a nurse doesn't mean I like  to get blood taken!
Not nervous at all.
Seriously he is watching... and intently watching too!

It always feels weird to go into a lab with my husband to get just HIV tests done....every year. I always feel I need to clarify why we are getting the tests done, especially since I was taking pictures. The nurse said "Oh I was wondering why you two were coming in for HIV tests." Yes it is odd to come in with your husband, one can only let their mind wonder. Anyways, I can't even express how much I love my child. I didn't care about the blood and tests, they can take all the blood they want, just bring our child home. All this "fighting" for our child, just makes me want them even more. I wold do this dumb HIV test every week if that was required! So today I'm praying hard for our child, please bring them home Father!

Saturday, April 14, 2012


I found out that our file in ethiopia is about to expire, in fact some of the papers have expired already! I didn't realize that police checks only last one year so they have been exited for months already. At first I was annoyed and angry at this news, the last thig I want to do is run around doing paper work all over again, this will be our third update!! As I was stewing in my anger God reminded me of something. A few weeks ago I had an elderly patient who was incredibly picky. His son had flown in from Hong Kong to care for his dad. We were joking about how picky his dad was when he said something to me. He said, "in all seriousness it is a privilege to care for my father in this time." I was shocked. This is the first time I have heard anyone say that it was their privilege to care for their sick family member. I found out this man was a christian which was clear to see before I even knew he was. God reminded me of this conversation yesterday as I began to get angry about all the paper work. He reminded me that it is a privilege to be chosen to fight for a child. I am beginning to understand this. As we went about our afternoon making appointments, filling out police reports and renewing passports, I had a joy in my heart that came from the truth god had spoken to me. I truly felt honored to fight for my child in this way. Every paper filled out and dollar spent was done to serve Jesus by serving my child. I was also reminded how Jesus has never stopped fighting for me or for any of us. He would never let paperwork or money get in between his love for us. He wouldnt even let death get between his love for us! So we continue on in this adoption battle, we follow Jesus as he leads us through and we see ourselves as privileged every time we fight for our child to come home!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Finding Joy

This past week, Arnie and I have been making summer plans. Awesome summer plans. How can we make plans when our phone might ring? you might ask... well we refuse to waste our lives, we refuse to put them on hold, we refuse to sit around being sad and depressed!!! Nope, there is way too much life to live to sit around waiting! Yes, we are still waiting for the call... but until the day our phone rings, we will live out our lives to the fullest.

I've been learning about joy. You know, the kind of joy that is unexplainable, the kind that is from Jesus. I was thinking that this joy can not only be available for people who have their act together. If Jesus came to save everyone, it has to be available to those who are broken, needy and desperate. Jesus didn't come for the healthy, but for the sick. This means that His joy must be accessible to the down-hearted, depressed and lonely. How this relates to me: For the past while I've been walking around waiting, crying and obsessing over "the call". Somehow in my mind, I could think of nothing more joyful then to see the face of my child. But if that is true, then I'd have to believe that Jesus' joy can't be available to me while I wait, while I feel incomplete, while my heart hurts. And that is wrong. I've had days where my arms feel so empty, where my heart is longing and I can't see past my situation, BUT I've also had days where my heart is so full, where my desires are met with Jesus, where the joy he gives me is more than enough. I am learning to find joy in the midst of despair.
Paul says this in Philippians:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

How true is this! What a good God we have, his joy, hope, peace and love are not conditional, they are available to everyone not matter your situation. What a great hope we share!

Monday, April 2, 2012

April: a month of discipline

Inspired by a friend's "month of torture", Arnie and I are doing a month of discipline. Our plan is to have a month of health and productivity. Our goals are to read our Bible everyday, workout 5 times a week, eat healthy daily (which includes drinking water ), and do one other activity everyday like running the dogs or yard cleanup.

Today is day one! I'm excited to do this challenge as I have had some goals for a while now that I just needed to implement, like drinking water. I don't really like water and would way rather drink something else, so this might be hard!

Our goal is to not do this for ourselves but for the glory of God. I feel that our physical bodies are directly connected to our spiritual bodies. When I am healthy I have more energy, more energy to pour into people, a better mood, less illness and a general joy about life. God has asked us to take care of our bodies and so I feel that we need to do that. Laziness just robs us of a joyful life. There is a time to rest but resting requires that you did some sort of work to need the rest.

 I'm excited for this for so many reasons! Intimacy with Jesus is so needed and needs to be my priority, so I am excited for that! Also very excited about all the husband time I am going to get! Oh and I'm also excited for some more energy, always welcomed in my life!

We will see if I am still this excited in a week, but I am planning on being faithful and following through on my commitments!