Sunday, February 19, 2012

Adoption and the Gospel

I had a great weekend with my husband. On friday morning he informed me he was taking me to Calgary for the weekend! We didn't do too much; shopped, ate, watched a movie, worked out and just hung out together. I'd have to say the best part of the weekend was the drive home. It seems life just always interrupts when we are at home, so to have 2.5 hours straight of quality time, yes in the car, was great. We talked and laughed and even had a moment of tears together. We talked about our adoption, the pain in the wait, the sacrifices but more importantly how we feel adoption mirrors the gospel.

God has called us to adopt, there is no doubt about that. In fact He chose adoption for us. We knew we always wanted to adopt but at first we did not pursue it, until God made it evident that this is what He had for us. Since the beginning this journey has had a great cost. We have paid for this decision. And I'm not just talking money here. We have paid with our time, our emotions, our prayers, our hearts. It has cost more than money. It has required endurance, strength, faith, trust, patience...and it has hurt. But you can be sure that it holds value to us. Our children hold value, not in anyone else's eyes necessarily, but in ours. That someone in their high state (jobs, friends, family, wealth) would spend themselves, give everything, to find a child who has been cast out, pushed aside and look on them with such value, is just the heart that Jesus has shown us. And this is where the gospel comes in. Jesus paid for us, dearly. He paid with his time, emotions, prayers and heart; but ultimately He paid with His life. He saw us in our lowly state, meaningless and desperate. We have nothing of worth to offer Him, nothing but to love Him back. But yet He sees us, he works for us, he longs for us, he pays for us with His life. All so he can have us, so we can be His sons and daughters, so He can be our Daddy. Because in His eyes we hold such a high value. He would give anything for us. Our Ethiopian adoption story is just a fraction of the adoption story of Jesus.
You see adoption is not second to having a biological baby. It is just different. It's a choice that requires a high cost. It's a choice that will be painful, expensive, exhausting, and frustrating... but it is also a choice that is full of joy, hope, trust, faith and love; if you choose it to be.
Just when we feel like giving up, Jesus reminds us of the price He paid for us. My children hold a high value to me,  they are worth fighting for in my eyes. I could quit, I could turn my back or take an easier way out, but I'm not willing to let them go. Just like Jesus has never been willing to let me go.
Adoption is also about redemption, to take someone out of their lowly state and offer them everything you have. To look at them and not only tell them, but show them, their value. This is what Jesus has done for us. He redeemed us. In our sinful state he offered us Himself. He offered us eternal life. When we least deserved it, He gave himself as payment on our behalf. He paid for all we did wrong with His life and then He offered us a seat beside Him on His throne.
Adoption is close to God's heart because He adopted us. There is something beautiful in not caring where your child is from, what they have done, whose genes they carry or what they look like. It is simply about choosing to love, to pick them up and to value them so highly that you would pay the price; whatever that price may be.

And just to lighten the mood a little (things just got a little serious haha), some pictures of my latest project!

This is the quilt I made for our future child. I had a professional long arm quilt it, which means do all the square design stitching. I even hand stitched the binding on, which took about 5 hours. 

I had so much fun making this quilt. Arnie helped me make a huge pattern out of paper so I could have my own original design and he also helped me pick the long arm quilt design. Now all I need is a little one to snuggle up in it!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

God is Good

He  continually amazes me with His grace. He truly is strong when I am weak. Despite our short- sightedness, he has grace on us. He is good. Yes, this wait hurts and I still long for my children, but God continues to give me the strength I need. Encouraging my heart when I'm down. Thank goodness I don't have to have it all put together to be loved by Him. I don't have too much to say except I am amazed and in awe that the God who created the universe has heard me and has found favor in me. I am completely undeserving. Praise Him when the times are hard, because He is still good. Praise Him when I can hardly lift my head, because He is good.

Sunday, February 12, 2012


I am tired and feeling weak from this struggle, trying to overcome and have joy and find the meaning in it all. But test after test after test just gets hard. It wears one down. I feel like I'm hitting a wall...or maybe banging my head against one! I so long for this part to be over. I am grateful for the wait because in it I found God's heart as well as my own, I have found a fight and a strength that come from waiting... but friends, I am just wishing this wait could be done. I won't ever give up and as long as God gives me strength I will continue to stand strong for my children, I will do what it takes but my prayer is for Jesus to bring them home. This longing to meet them can't be stuffed down anymore. This wait is long and tedious and painful but it has not been wasted. Please pray with me for enough strength to carry me until the time is right. I don't want to rush my time and I want everything that God has for me, but I need strength to hang on to that.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Praying for my friends

Today is hard.

As another adoption agency, CAFAC, has to close their doors due to financial strain, I am overcome by the grace of my Father, who a few years back picked us up out of the ashes and restored our hope. I pray for these families and shed tears for them too. Some have waited longer than us for their children and now they are being told the door will be shut.

I hope and pray and trust that God has a good plan in it all. I emailed and phoned the ministry to advocate for these people. Although I do not know them personally, I know all too well the feelings they are going through.

Over two years ago when our agency went bankrupt, we thought we lost it all... our money, our time, our hopes and dreams... mostly though, our family. Oh, but in the midst of the despair...God whispered to me, "I've got it." And he did not lie! Months later our agency was restructured, through the grace of forgiveness by many collectors, we were able to continue on our journey. This has never been done before... but God just smiled and said, "Nothing is impossible for me." So in the same tone as I had two years ago, I will cry out to him on behalf of my friends whose hearts are broken today.

This adoption thing is not easy. It is not for wimps. But one thing is certain, Jesus loves adoption. He adopted me into his family!! And so with that I will fight for these sweet children to come home as I continue to fight for my own.

It seems he works best when everything else seems hopeless. Today, I thank him for what he has done for me and I ask him to do the same for these families today.