Hope, Trust, Wait

Waiting is hard. Waiting for the weekend, waiting for Christmas, waiting for work to be over, waiting in line, waiting for food, waiting for mail, waiting on the phone.

I feel like I have experienced a whole new definition of waiting. Waiting to be matched with my child, waiting for that one particular phone call, waiting to travel to Ethiopia, waiting to decorate a room, waiting to fill a closet and toy chest, waiting to care for, nurture, love, waiting for God to fill my arms.

I've struggled, oh have I struggled. I've longed, I've cried, I've given up, I've prayed, I've called upon God.

But,
I have also loved, I have worked hard, I have trusted,  I have laughed,  I have found joy, I have had hope.

And these things are what have made it worth it.

At times I loose my focus, I cry out, I shout that this isn't fair, I throw tantrums.

And then other times, I look Jesus in the eyes and know and trust and have faith that he has it all under control.

I wish I could say I've waited in perfect patience, joy, peace, but I haven't. I'll be honest, I've had my share of groaning and complaining. Just like the Israelites, God saw the end but they couldn't see past their hungry stomachs. God saw the promised land, but they couldn't see past the sand at their feet.

But,
I can say that by God's grace, I have overcame and will continue to overcome these moments of pain, grumbling and complaining. They become less when I surrender. I have traded them in for joy, for trust, for hope. And I will continue to trade them in. My children deserve a Mother and a Father who are filled with joy, who are filled with hope for their future, who are filled with nothing but love.

My children are waiting, we are waiting, God is waiting to fulfil his promises. Waiting is hard. But it doesn't have to be.

As surely as the rain will fall, my children will come home.
How do I know this? Cause God told me so. There are no if, ands or buts about it. They are coming.

but those who HOPE in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. but those who TRUST in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. but they who WAIT for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.