Maybe the ship has sailed

I haven't written much about our adoption lately, mostly because I don't have much to say. I am tired. It's a strange feeling but I feel like I have given up. I'm not sure it's a bad thing but I feel like I can't hang on to hope anymore. I trust Jesus and I trust His plan for me, I just don't want to keep thinking about this adoption, hoping then being disappointed. Maybe this is some sort of defence mechanism, you can only hold on to something that just seems so far out of reach for so long. 

I should say however, that I have not given up on my children. It's just this particular adoption that I am done with, I am ready to move on. I still fight daily for my children, wherever they may be. I pray continually for Jesus to bring them home, to go to war for them, to bring them to the family He chose for them. 

Maybe my child doesn't live in Ethiopia? 

I don't think I've been open to that thought before, but I think I need to open my hands and grip on this particular adoption. 

I'm not sure where God will lead us, or if He will just ask us to stay, but I am willing. 

Please pray for us as we seek our Father, listen to His leading and as we continue to wait.