I was trying to rock Isaac to sleep for his nap, he fell asleep quite easily but when I went to set him down he woke up. He looked at me and cried to be picked up. I was a little bit frustrated after the third time of putting him down. Then it dawned on me. In the middle I my thoughts of all the things I needed to get done, laundry, dishes, cleaning... There were so many times over the past 7 years I would have given anything for this moment.
So I stopped, in my mind, and became present in the moment. I am home with my son. There is a baby sleeping in my arms and he is mine. There is no one to tell me to put him down. He is crying for me to hold him... It's all real now. All these moments I could only dream of are here and now... And I don't want to miss them... Not for a second!
So I sit down on the rocking chair I bought to rock my baby to sleep on. And we rocked.
Ill never regret this moment.
And as I sit here I think of our God, how good he is, how he is our redeemer, the giver of gifts, he is the one that calls us by name, the one who sets the lonely in families. He is the reason my son is sleeping in my arms. He is the reason my shirt says "mom" on it. He picks us up for the mud, sets us before him, cleanses us and makes us new... Most literally and figuratively. My son is proof, and so is my heart.
I'm so grateful in this moment that I have a God who loves me, who takes my best interest at hand... And I think I'll just rest now
Beautiful, Bekah! Yes, do your best to live in the moment, and give yourself grace when you slip up! It is so hard to find that balance as a mom... Between the "have to's" and the "heart to's"... So glad you are finding your groove... <3
ReplyDeleteHeather
Peace is what I see on Isaac's face as he rests in your arms. That's a miracle :-) Enjoy the moments.
ReplyDeleteLove it! Trust me they grow up way too fast!
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