Monday, July 15, 2013

Attachment Update

Many people have been asking us lately how attachment is going and I realized since we have been home 4 weeks I should give an update from our "when we get home" post.

We have seen some great signs in Isaac in the past little while. While we can never say we have arrived as attachment is life long, we feel we have made a pretty good foundation. He is such a trooper and has adapted so well to his new life. Now that the four weeks are over and we have been venturing out and seeing more people we are feeling like a new chapter has begun.

While it was necessary to be as strick as we have been for the last weeks, we feel we can loosen up just a little. We still feel that all this is fresh. It's like removing a cast after the healing of a broken bone... you don't just go right into using it full force, but you ease it in, baby it a little and take it slowly.

We have slowly been allowing family to hold him for a minute and give him a kiss, but we are still not passing him around. Although we feel he knows us and is feeling attached to us as his primary caregivers...we don't want to just brake that. We want to secure our foundation. Only time will do this. We also don't want to hand him to just anyone he has seen for the first time. Family is different because they will be around always in his life. We just ask that everyone be patient with us and understanding of the situation... with that said I do have to say a huge thank-you to everyone! We feel so respected in how polite and understanding everyone has been. We feel incredibly loved that you would think enough to ask us how he is doing and were we are standing. This weekend we went camping with some close friends. The first question we were asked was what was what was the protocol with Isaac for the weekend. We appreciated that beyond words and although Isaac is clueless to it, he appreciated it to. You know that kind of love that will lay aside their own desires for the better of someone else, that is the kind of love we feel from these friends. This weekend was perfect, we were worried about being in a tent for two nights, but Isaac did so well. Our friends were so helpful and loving to us, they warmed his milk, gave us a black out tarp so Isaac could sleep, offered to help us clean up and gave Isaac lots of love from a distance. It was a good experience. We came home feeling like our attachment had not been damaged in any way. Isaac was confident in knowing we were his still.

So as we slowly emerge from our cocoon, we ask you still take it easy on Isaac. We are allowing family to slowly have a chance to spend a little more quality time with him for now and we will keep watching him to see how he is doing.

Again we thank-you for your respect, we feel very loved and it is again another thing I get to tell Isaac one day when I tell him about all the people who loved him home.

We thank God for the attachment that we see, knowing that ultimately he is the healer. He is the one who will put Isaac's heart back in place. He is the one who will mend his spirit. So we continue to pray that God will teach him who we are and more importantly who he is.


  1. I am so glad that Isaac is adjusting so well. We continue to pray for a bond only God's hand can create.

  2. It sounds like yo - and he are doing great! You will never regret taking it slowly :)

  3. Rebekah and Arnie;
    Instinct and God's guidance will lead you to be the parents you need to be. Isaac is so loved to have been chosen to be your son. Let your heart lead you - it will ever steer you wrong!
    Aunt Michele

  4. sorry that should be NEVER steer you wrong!!