Surrender

It was brought to our attention that back dating a document might not be the best idea. So, back we go to the drawing board. Lawyer tomorrow, send new document and money to Imagine, and wait for a new statutory declaration. Which means no referral for at least another month +. This does make me sad, but this is our choice. I have felt sick to my stomach for two days thinking about getting to Ethiopia, going to court and then failing court because our dates are all wrong. I suppose a month wait here would be better then a month wait in Ethiopia knowing our child is only a few blocks away but not being able to see them. We decided we would rather do things right rather then try and cut a few corners. I have prayed hard about this and my answer is that God would not punish us for trying to do the right thing. I'm not even sure if back dated documents would even matter, but I don't think I want to find out. So here we go again....waiting on statutory declaration #2. Praying that for some reason it flies through court and into the hands of Ethiopia faster than we could even imagine.

Last night while wrestling with what to do with this document, I decided I needed to give up control. It's not like I even have control in the first place, but my response to this news is showing me that somehow I think I do. I feel like if I do everything as fast as possible I will get my child sooner, who am I kidding? Jesus has the perfect timing, I might as well stop fighting it. Release control means I wait in peace. I do the right thing, even though it puts us further in the hole, and just rest knowing that it's never out of God's hands. If my faith means anything, let it stand strong now, when it really counts. So no more ranting from me, I am shutting my mouth (or at least trying to), releasing the reigns and staring at Jesus while we sail through the storm together. If you see me not doing these things...just remind me of my commitment.

Just like Louie, I will wait at the door to be invited in. (with a smile on my face, it may be forced, but it will be there!)